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tinkerbell // hannah

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[Monday
August 29th, 2005
10:10pm
]
[ mood | sleepy ]

The Last Night On Earth

Pairing: David/Pierre, of course!

Status: Standalone

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Drama/Romance/Song Fic (Delta Goodrem - "The Last Night On Earth")

Summary:Burn me alive and send me south once I’m simply a corpse, because if sinning is this rewarding, then I’m more than willing to be sent to hell. Burn me alive and send me south for I don’t want to live once you leave.”

Authors Note: This is only my second P/D fic, and I guess I have a thing for standalones. Tis I! Writer of Peanut Butter Kisses! Perhaps this one is not as sickly sweet as that one was, but I tried, right?

Disclaimer: It’s all fake. It’s all bull. shit.

~

It’s the last night on earth

Before the great divide

My hands are shaking; time was never on our side

And there’s no such thing as a beautiful goodbye

As an ordinary day, I prayed for you a thousand times

I watched you as your beat up old truck pulled up on the road beside my bedroom window, the window rolling down and your slender fingers beckoning me outside.

I climbed down the lattice, covered in scarlet roses and bloodthirsty thorns, just aching to find a piece of unclothed flesh and pierce it.

I made it down the wall with as few battle scars as possible, silently rushed across the perfectly manicured lawn and quietly opened the passenger door of his car.

The moment I was within arms reach of him, his fingers clamped around my shoulder and pulled my against him, a kiss was placed on my forehead and the warmth of his body insulated mine.

You pulled out of your parking spot and we drove slowly and quietly away from the prison that I was forced to call my home. I didn’t want to be there, I didn’t want to be anywhere near there, because you would not be around. You would be leaving me for an unknown period of time, thought I knew it would be forever in my mind.

You pulled up to an empty parking lot and flicked the radio on, though you knew neither of us was going to pay a lot of attention to it. You wound the windows down and I watched as a chilling breeze danced across your face and you closed your eyes softly at the feeling.

We sat, holding each other in silence for seconds, minutes, hours, who knows? All I know is that it felt right, like it always did.

Tomorrow you were leaving for France, to fight off the Germans who had recently invaded. Brave, I know, for you to sign up and willingly defend your country, but how could you leave me?

I look up at you and you smile softly back at me. There is no joy or laughter in your brown orbs, like there used to be. When we both had something to smile for. I remember the mischief that used to be mirrored in my own eyes when we would drive out to this spot and you would kiss me on the hood of the truck, where we made love on the backseat – and sometimes the front – and we’d feel rebellious, knowing that our parents didn’t know that we had gone, let alone driven out to a private spot on the lake to indulge ourselves in a relationship that was considered a sin. Burn me alive and send me south once I’m simply a corpse, because if sinning is this rewarding, then I’m more than willing to be sent to hell. Burn me alive and send me south for I don’t want to live once you leave.

It’s never enough

No matter how many times

I try to tell you this is love

“Pierre,” I whispered, emotion plaguing me as the reality of you leaving me sunk in, “please don’t leave.”

“I have to, David,” you sighed, rubbing your temples with your thumb and index finger of your left arm.

“No you don’t,” I insist, “let’s run away. We’ll never look back, and we’ll be together.”

“I can’t leave, no matter how much I want to stay. I gave my word to fight for the country, I can’t let the people down.”

“Do I mean nothing to you? I’m not worth staying for? You don’t care that I’ll cry myself to sleep every night and become an empty shell of myself until you come home?” I dropped my voice to a murmur, hating myself for even entertaining the thought, “If you come home.”

“Don’t talk like that, of course I’m coming home.” I note the shock and anger in your voice, and it frightens me. I can tell that you’re on the brink of breaking down, but how am I to help you? It was your choice to run away and kill people, to defend a country that has done nothing to reward you, to leave me.

“Then why leave in the first place?” I whispered.

If tomorrow never comes

I want you to know right now

That I’m going to love you until the day I die

And if tomorrow falls asleep

Can you hold me first?

I’m going to love you like it’s the last night on Earth

Pushing myself away from you and kicking the car door open and stepping outside into the cold midnight air. I folded my arms and walked to the edge of the lake, discreetly looking at my wristwatch and turning my neck to stare out at nothing, my mind buzzing with thoughts. Five hours. You had five hours until you left for stupid Paris with its stupid war with the stupid Germans with their stupid Hitler and his stupid Nazi’s. Is it too much to ask to let you and I live in our own secret world, where there is nobody and nothing except the two of us? Like those nights in summer, where we would lay on the riverbank and kiss until the sun came up. That night when you took away my innocence, only a few meters from where I currently stood. That night was repeated so many times during the course of our time together that I couldn’t remember each of them if I tried my hardest.

Guilt washes over me and I look over my shoulder at you, still sitting in the car, tears obvious in your eyes as you watch me standing much too far away from you. I strode back across the path I had taken to get to the riverbank, and climbed back inside the car, back into your embrace where I felt finally safe again.

A penny for your thoughts

A picture so it lasts

Let’s knock down the walls of immortality

Your fingers on my skin

Only you can hear my fear

Only you can help me heal

I see forever with you here

We kiss, we touch, and we make love to each other a final time before saying goodbye. Before you drive me home at daybreak, fresh tears in both of our eyes the whole time.

By the time you reach my house, the sun has risen, the milkman is doing and the paper boy are doing their rounds, families are sitting down for breakfast together in their perfect sunrooms with their perfect conversations and their perfect meals.

This time you pull up outside the front of my house, and we step out together, you walk me to my front door and you kiss me goodbye, fighting so hard to keep your tears from falling.

My parents wrench the front door open and scream their abuses at you and I, but we don’t hear them. We continue to kiss, to hold and to cry.

Finally, painfully, regretfully you pull away from me, bow your head a few degrees in the direction of my parents and turn around, down the three marble steps and climb back into that beat up old truck, and all I can do is watch you leave.

There is no goodbye, no ‘I love you’, no promises made to each other. I feel it’s better for both of us this way.

The afterglow

And the horizon line

The shadows fall

Will you still be mine?

Will you still be mine?

Will you still be mine, I ask

 

Your mother came to my house today, Pierre. She and my mother sat in the sunroom and drank tea and talked. Hours later, she came up to my bedroom with your army uniform folded perfectly in her arms.

My heart stopped as she spoke to me, her words barely making it out of her mouth before I took the uniform that she had been holding out to me and I collapsed to the floor, hugging the attire and crying into it.

You left me, Pierre. You’re not coming home. You died to save a country that never rewarded you with anything. Because of stupid Paris filled with its stupid Germans who follow stupid Hitler and his stupid Nazi’s, I am alone.

The evening I remembered was the last night on Earth, but today, Pierre, is my last day in our private little world where there is no one except you and I on the hood of your car, kissing, touching, making love and making promises.

Burn me alive and send me wherever you went, Pierre, for without you I am nothing, and without you I don’t want to be here.

Tomorrow never came, but I still love you. And if I die tonight, tomorrow, next week, in fifty years, I will still love you. I promise you that much.

 

reviews, please? *bats eyelashes and looks adorable*

scream for me

[Friday
July 15th, 2005
6:19pm
]
why the fuck am i listening to Mariah Carey? i love this song.
2 screamed it ://: scream for me

[Tuesday
June 28th, 2005
8:38pm
]
[ mood | tired ]

it's amazing how we fear we may be
it's from ourselves at we so often run
abandon fear and consquence of heartbreak
expose the truth and give yourself to love
we've all been set up to be disappointed
we've got to crawl before we learn to fly
it's a blur that moves right into focus
removes the doubt, aligns your heart and mine

scream for me

[Saturday
June 25th, 2005
12:02pm
]
[ mood | artistic ]

ahhh i had to do my music assessment yesterday.
and because i SUCK at bass, i had to sing
so i sang Delta.
want to read? sure you do.
I DON'T CARE IF YOU SAID NO, I'M POSTING THE LYRICS ANYWAY.
Mistaken Identity

the girl in the chair with the long golden hair
well that used to be me
a flirtatious smile, unpredictably wild
always trying to please

i was always walking one step ahead
or so i thought until the monster crawled into my bed
the wild man erased that shocked look on your face
just because your Mona Lisa is dead

a million words, a thousand days

the sun likes to rise and the moon likes to fall
well thats kinda like my life
now i played the role of the nice girl next door
who gets cut like a knife

i'm not looking for apology eyes
and i don't wanna spend a night on a bed
of beautiful lies
erase and rewind
leave that sick girl behind
fast foward
fast forward

a thousand days

the girl i used to be
has a terrible case
of mistaken identity
yesterday's girl is not what you see
it's a terrible case
of mistaken identity

that's not me.
that's just not me.

[x][x][x] hannah

scream for me

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